First Impressions
by Alenor Peredhel
Summary: First Chapter is a repost. This story is about the earlier days of Estel, Aragorn, so told through Halbarad's eyes, one of Elessar's most trusted friends.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I down own LOTR. Simple as that.

(And many thanks to the person, (I do not know if she wants to be named) for showing me a different view for the story. Thank you)

A/N: Another trial run at "First Impressions." If you want this to continue **review **(which means don't rely on other people to do it for you) and tell me what you thought. Or if you wish, a simple one-liner will do. Flames accepted. **There **_are_** major changes to the beginning! **THANK YOU!

First Impressions

Prologue

_Aragorn,_

_I was a young man when I first laid eyes on, Aragorn, or Estel as was more commonly known in his younger days. Many years later I can honestly say that my first impression of the boy, for as a boy I will always think of him as, was; _**this** is the heir to Gondor's throne?

_This thought came to me as he strode across the dusty sands of the training grounds. He was in the ungainly stages of boyhood, perhaps only thirteen. His hair hung lank around his shoulders, as he slouched, shuffling across the ground. He made sure to cast looks at every other pair in the rectangular area, letting everyone know his displeasure at being there. _

_I can frankly say I was quite surprised, for Elrond had told me how enthusiastic the young man was about sword fighting and I certainly _wasn't_ his first teacher. In fact, I was there mainly to stem the questions that had been coming from the young Estel about his human heritage, as well as to provide Gilraen with some company._

_Despite all this however, at the look of the disgruntled youth dragging his feet across the arena, I might have found myself on the ground in a fit of uncontrollable laughter had I been more like the sons of Elrond; Elladan and Elrohir. As I was more resigned, I scowled instead, disbelief written across my features. Me, tall, broad-shouldered, dark hair yet unblemished by the grays of the elderly, the man who of twenty summers was battle-hardened by the skirmishes in the North, was to teach _this_ boy. _You have got to be kidding.

_(Although, as I had later found out, Estel's primary disgruntlement that fine afternoon was largely due to his earlier berating at Elrond's hands, as he was caught in the act of pulling a prank, of which his brothers had helped orchestrate. But at the time, I had no such knowledge, and was primarily disappointed in what I saw.)_

_"Are you Halbarad?" Estel asked grouchily, as he came to a stop before me. Disinterestedly he kicked at the sand beneath his feet; tiny motes of dust flying into the air._

_With growing horror I now saw he was barefoot, unshod. I saw the peek as he glanced up, the smirk as he saw that he had finally registered some other emotion in me besides a scowl. I quickly tried to replace my angry face but the damage had already been done. _

Ai Estel! Such a troublesome child you were that first day!

S_o many years later it still seems as if it happened only yesterday. The tale has become a popular campfire joke, often causing Aragorn (if he is around) to blush red, as if he too recalls the memory clearly._

_It is one that I will never forget, even in death._

_But here, it is not why I sit by the glowing embers of a dying fire, telling a tale that has long since passed into the tapestry of the past. What happens now, so many years later where I sit now is the eve of war, the time when Aragorn shall be known as Elessar and all that he has strived for come to pass._

_The days of sullen boyhood have long since passed, and I have aged. Though I am of the Dunedain, I feel my years heavily, for I am older the Aragorn, a man who has seen too much war and blood in his life._

_I sit here- while the camp quiets, the Rangers sleep, and the watch patrols silently- to write Aragorn's story. A story not told from his eyes, but from the eyes of the man who stood by his side as he grew. From the first impressions of the child who wanted nothing more then to be rebellious against an act he felt unfair, to the man I now know. _

_I choose to tell you it now Aragorn, for I have never spoken so much about your trials and errors or how proud I am of the man you have become._

_I know, when you read this, I will be dead. I am not scared. I know the battle tomorrow is my last. I have heard the beat of the raven's wings in my ears. But while I yet live, I have one more task I must perform, and though it may take all night, I will finish it._

_Here is the story of Aragorn of Isildur's line, told through eyes of Halbarad, Ranger of the North:_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from this story, I wish I did though!

A/N: I just want to thank everyone who supported the remake of the first chapter! I really appreciate the time you took to write a review** (Nelarun, Greenlizard and sielge)** and if I didn't reply to you, I'm terribly sorry!. Suggestions are welcomed, so please by all means drop a review and let me know what you think, or if something should be changed. I'm open to anything. THANK YOU!

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First Impressions-Chap1-

It was a glorious afternoon, the herald of the coming Midsummer. A balmy breeze floated down from the Mountains, brushing away the sharpest edge of the heat. I sat quietly, watching the others in the area as they practiced their graceful dances with the blades. There was sweat pooling from their shirtless shoulders, for not even the gentle wind stemmed the exertion that was brought forth.

Restlessly I shifted, and tugged at my shirt. My sword lay, unsheathed, next to me, its tip dug carelessly into the ground at my feet. My eyes shifted, itching to prove my worth against one of the experienced Elves, but on this day I couldn't.

I was waiting for one Aragorn son of Arathorn, or as I had been told to call him, Estel. Hope. Such a befitting name for the man who would one day be the King of Gondor, if all came to pass. Yet I was confused, for the lad was late. A full hour I had been sitting here and waiting. Elrond had told me personally that Aragorn enjoyed his time in training and was often prompt, or more often then not, beating his teacher to the practice. Not so today.

"He is not here yet?"

Shielding my eyes I glanced up at a nameless Elf. "He is not," I answered respectfully, awe still holding note in my voice, even after all my time with the graceful beings.

The Elf chuckled, swinging his practice blade carefully. He glanced away and his smile grew brighter. "Ah, here he comes." He bent lower, as if to whisper some secret. "Have fun."

It was then that I noticed the heavy silence in the training grounds. Uneasily I stood, and faced the boy I had not yet met. Unease coiled through my belly, for a silence like this one, was enough to make me want to hide.

Estel was slowly making his way toward me. His eyes were downcast, and his sword dragged behind him, bouncing every once in a while on the uneven surface. His hair was hanging lank and damp across his shoulders, as if he had just been wrested from a leisurely swim.

I caught the suppressed looks of amusement at the various reactions he received from the other Elves. A few snickers here, some rolling eyes off in the farthest reaches of the grounds and a few openly shocked and disproving glares. Those, the last of them, were primarily from Glorfindel and his young trainees, but the Elf did not come to my rescue, as Estel was my charge, and it was up to me to set my own disciplines.

"Are you Halbarad?" Estel asked, drawing to a halt before me. He didn't even look up into my eyes, even though at the time he was a full head shorter.

My horror was growing as dust motes flew from where his feet were drawing patterns in the sand. He was barefoot. Unshod. My mouth worked, anger coming into my eyes. I realized my mistake only when I saw the triumphant smirk, but then it was too late to rein back my anger.

_This is Estel! Heir to Gondor's throne? I am to be teaching this boy to fight? What trickery has Elrond given me? This is no eager boy, but a spoilt brat! Woe be the day that Gondor graces this Estel as her King._

Those thoughts and similar chased through my head like some out-of-control game of catch and chase. The snickers had ceased now, and with a prickling sensation running down my shoulders I realized that I was being carefully watched. Tested to see how I would handle the situation.

"Where are your shoes Estel?" I asked the boy as calmly as I could muster.

"The horse ate them," he replied, and let his sword drop from his hands.

I refused to wince, refused to reach out and strangle the miscreant in front of me. I was sure the only reason why I stayed calm was the promise in my mind that I was going to confront Elrond about this later. "I doubt a horse would find your shoes to his taste."

Estel shrugged again, looked around him, and smirked. "What can I say? He will eat anything."

"And of course you have more then one pair of shoes," I replied. "Did he eat all of them?"

For a moment Estel's mouth worked and he looked blankly around for a quick comeback. Casually I leaned back on my heels, crossing my arms. The breeze rustled through my hair, the only other sound in the training grounds. Even the Elves seemed to have forgotten to breathe, enthralled by the drama that was taking place before their eyes.

"I locked myself out of my room." Estel finally replied. He kicked the dirt before his feet sullenly. "I can't get in."

"Elrond has the master key Estel," I replied. A plan was forming in my head. Perhaps it was unjust revenge, and I doubt I will ever really know the answer to that question, but at the time, it felt wonderful.

Estel shrugged, shifted, and glanced around. There was no help forthcoming. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" I questioned. "How about you go get your shoes."

"I won't come back."

"No?" I exclaimed, pretending to be horrified by this news. I had finally broke and was beyond repelled at the unsightly manners this boy portrayed. It was now Elrond's choice of upbringing that puzzled me.

"No!" Estel repeated, bolder. He looked up, his grey eyes flashing. "I won't come back."

"Well then by all means don't," I replied pleasantly. "But then, by all means don't expect to return here for another two months at best."

The color drained from Estel's cheeks, as he caught the seriousness in my eyes.

_Ah! So young Estel does care about his sword lessons. What has put him in such a mood then?_

"Well?" I asked, shooing him along. "Go get your shoes."

Shooting me a spitting glare, Estel turned around and jogged off, leaving his sword on the dusty ground.

Sighing I bent down and picked up the battered sheath. Lovingly, I caressed the dirt away as footsteps rang in my ears. I glanced up and saw that Glorfindel was moving toward me.

"You handled that well."

I shrugged as I turned to set the blade next to mine on the bench. "Did Lord Elrond lie to me?"

"About what?" Glorfindel asked. He was watching as Estel charged up the steps that guarded the end of the training grounds.

"He told me the boy was eager to learn," I snorted, not letting my opinions about the fate of Gondor come to my lips. "It seems he does not much like the idea of two months without training but..." I glanced at Glorfindel from the corner of my eye.

There was no expression on the Elf Lord's face. Grave as a king he was, eyes hooded, arms crossed as noise lifted up around him. The Elves, seeing the action was over had returned to their business and would no doubt spread the rumors by nightfall. Well, at least there was one good thing about Elven rumors, they were nearly, and almost always correct.

Seeing no answer forthcoming I picked up my sword.

"He will return there is no reason to leave."

I turned my attention to Glorfindel once again and realized that while I had thought his mind miles away, he had been in fact, studying me. Shivers ran down my spine. A curse on Elves and their mysterious ways! I doubted I would ever grow used to it.

"And why do you say he will return?"

Glorfindel smiled then and clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Because it is Estel. Get to know the boy; he is bright and eager. There is no doubt a cause for his behavior this morning. Yet, for the meanwhile, monitor him, as it could be he is only testing you."

I snorted. "You know what they say? _First impressions that are received are oft the truth of the matter and should not be ignored_. And my apologies Glorfindel, but the first impression of this boy is not a good one at best."

Glorfindel's smile spread as he let loose a laugh. "And they also say, '_Go not to the Elves for council, for they will say both no and yes_.'"

I couldn't help but join in the laughter, for it was true, as I reflected. Glorfindel's response had been both to encourage me to grow to know Estel and yet at the same time watch him closely. "A most perplexing race you are," I accused my eyes shining. "But since Estel has deemed it an appropriate time to test my patience I must ask you a favor."

"Do not ask me to teach your student," Glorfindel warned.

"No indeed," I said shaking my head. "But I am dreadfully hungry, and since you say it is unwise for me to leave then I must find another way. When Estel returns, or _if _he does, please tell him that he is to run the perimeter until I come back."

"It will be my pleasure Halbarad." Glorfindel replied. "I would warn you not to push the boy too far though."

"There you go again!" I cried, as I backed away, still watching the Elf. "Saying both yes and no. May the Valar call me to my grave early if I ever ask you for advice again."

It was not only Glorfindel's laughter that echoed in my ears as I passed through the shadowed overhang of trees that projected over the stairs that led to the house and the kitchen it promised.

When I returned twenty minutes later, I was shocked to see that Estel had indeed returned. A pair of sturdy shoes rested on his feet, and he breathed heavily as he jogged the perimeter.

I halted in the shadow of one of the statues, an Elven warrior, and watched thoughtfully while I chewed on an apple. I could see from the corner of my eye Glorfindel's hawk-like gaze bearing down at the boy.

Curses drifted to my ears, both of Common Tongue and Elven. I was shocked at the reaches of his vocabulary and wondered vaguely where he had learned it all.

"You're going to make an enemy out of him. Estel hates to run."

I jumped, startled and ashamed that I had not been aware of the footsteps behind me. My gaze settled on Elrond, who stood behind me. I shrugged.

"You are displeased with me."

I shrugged once more, taking another bite from my apple. "I do not enjoy trickery."

There was silence for a long moment. I was about to look over my shoulder when the Elf Lord spoke again.

"It is my fault for Estel's behavior today Halbarad. I scolded him this morning when I caught him putting ants into the cooks' preparations for this evening's meal. As Elrohir and Elladan have yet to be found the blame is resting wholly on his shoulders, and has left a bad taste in his mouth."

Well, I supposed quietly to myself, that would explain a lot of things. "Ants?" I mused aloud, spinning the apple through my hand. "Why not frogs?"

"Don't be giving him ideas," Elrond warned. "He's got enough of an imagination as it is."

"I can see that. Horses ate his shoes" I added in a mutter to myself, and lobbed my eaten apple into the trees. Rolling my shoulders I sent a glance over my shoulder. "I suppose I could give young Estel another chance."

"I would appreciate it," Elrond answered, a smile touching his careworn face. "He needs a friend here Halbarad. A mortal one."

"I'll do my best," I murmured to him, and went down the last steps to tell Estel he could stop running.

Perhaps, after all, a first impression could be changed. I certainly hoped so.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from this story, I wish I did though!

A/N: I have a bone to pick with all you people reading this story. I'm not expecting 100+ reviews **_or even _**50+, but when I'm getting some **_65_ hits **to a story and only **_two _**reviews, I tend to a get little upset, and offended. I find it quite rude, and inconsiderate that you would take time to read it, as I'm sure, some of you are, and not leave me something behind. It's the little button at the bottom of the page, it takes about ten seconds to type something in, so please, show some respect, and help me out. _**Reviews keep the story alive**_. And if you're an author reading this story, I think you know what I mean, and for anyone who doesn't know _anonymous reviews ARE accepted_. Thank you.

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First Impressions-Chap2- 

It was after practice. A full half hour and only now I was able to drag my body toward a bath. Hot, warm water, I nearly moaned in bliss at just the thought of it. Maybe I would allow myself to indulge and not move until morning.

Moonlight was peeking through the drapes that had been moved in front of the open windows, and laughter echoed in my ears as Elves passed like comforting shadows, through the spots of light, colored by the torches set in their brackets.

My feet were dragging behind me, my sword bouncing unevenly across the ground as I halfheartedly dragged it, for once not caring if I damaged the scabbard or blade. I hurt. Everywhere. Dratted Estel, I hadn't given the kid enough consideration on his skills and was paying for it dearly.

"Halbarad."

I groaned, and managed to straighten my back. There was no chance I would be able to escape and hide. "What?" I bit out impatiently. The dream of a bath floated teasingly in front of my face, almost drifting into non-existence. I prayed I wasn't about to be called away on some errand.

Laughter. "What happened to you? You look horrible."

"Thank you Erestor. Thank you. I really needed that."

More laughter. "No need to be stingy about it Halbarad. I was being honest, a trait which last time I checked, you value highly. You would have not wanted me to tell you a lie, because you would have known it was a lie and then would have been angry that I was trying to cover the truth with something less."

Elves and their infuriating well of knowledge. Gritting my teeth, feeling in no mood to humor an advisor of Elrond, I slowly turned. My tired eyes noted immediately that Erestor's were laughing and his hands were clasped firmly in front of his midnight green robes, as if to still some action. I, myself, barely refrained from glaring.

"Gilrean requests your presence for a late supper."

"Please tell her I cannot accept her offer this evening. Perhaps, tomorrow would be better?" I replied politely.

Erestor's hands jumped and his tightly pressed lips stretched into a smile. "It wasn't a request Halbarad; it was an order from the woman herself. She is very eager to meet you." He paused, eyeing me up and down, his amusement growing. "So I suggest you hurry along with that bath and make yourself presentable."

If I'd had something to throw I would have done so or perhaps had I been of an age akin to a very young Elfling, I would have given a large tantrum. Instead, resentfully I turned around to continue dragging my body toward my room. I cursed in my head, the insufferable Elves and their amusement over human torture. The remark wasn't necessarily true, but it relieved the growing tension in my head all the same.

Thirty minutes later I was being ushered into Gilrean's household. My hair was still hanging damp around my shoulders, my muscles aching, and my mind in the comfortable realm of sleep, though my body moved about and my mouth worked.

"You look exhausted!" Gilrean spoke, taking my arm and settling me down into a soft chair. "I hope Estel didn't work you too hard."

I shook my head, watching as the woman went about, practically putting odds and ends discreetly out of the way, though I could see no use for it. The house was immaculately clean, and everything seemed to have its proper place.

Gilrean for her part was dressed simply. Her hair, also damp, was tied in a loose knot at the nape of her neck, letting the top droop to frame her face. She wore a simple lavender dress with no frills, or exaggerated sleeves. Simple, practical, I found myself liking her already.

"Where is Estel?" I questioned, realizing that the boy was not around.

"Sulking in his room I imagine," Gilrean replied, her expression turning into a frown. Her eyes were fastened toward a swinging door that led to the kitchen. "He looked so worn out when he came home today."

I shifted uncomfortably, knowing I was partly responsible for Estel's weariness. My eyes drifted down as I clasped my hands.

Catching my movements Gilrean laughed. "Don't worry Halbarad, I will not blame you."

I nodded, and restrained a yawn. My head felt thick and heavy and the only thing I could think about was how comfortable the chair was. Maybe if I closed my eyes for just a moment my host wouldn't know.

A loud crash resounded from upstairs. Startled by the noise my head jerked up from its resting place on my chest. I was halfway out of my chair, my hand grabbing for an imaginary sword before I realized that I wasn't in a Ranger camp, and nor was I surrounded by Orcs.

Sparing me only a momentary glance of concern, Gilrean lifted her skirts and rushed toward the kitchen. The stairs that led to the second-story were found there, tucked inconspicuously into a corner.

Dragging a hand through my hair, I shook the cobwebs from my head. I realized that while I had dozed, Gilrean had brought out a teapot and had set three cups artfully on the tray. Various pastries and rolls were arranged on a second plate. They had been placed upon an elegant low table that sat in the middle of the groupings of furniture.

Knowing that it would be dangerous for me to sit again, I began to pace restlessly, scrutinizing the room.

On the far wall there were scribbling marks. They were worn out, as if there had been an attempt to remove them, once upon a time. A younger Estel's attempt at the arts perhaps. The furniture in the room consisted of the plush chair I had been sitting in, a low settee, and another chair, of which at its base sat a knitting basket, with fabrics, needles, and scissors overflowing the rim.

A large window, the room's only window, overlooked the vale below. As the house was situated upon an elevated rise, it was a beautiful scene, with a window seat accenting it like a picture.

"Halbarad."

I turned slowly from the window and faced Estel who was standing in front of his mother. In fact, I was sure the only thing that kept him where he was, were the hands resting on his shoulders.

He was scowling, arms crossed, hair disarrayed and clothes askew and dirty. I was sure that they had not been that way a few minutes ago.

"Hello Estel."

He only glared. An angry thirteen year-old who believed he had been wronged.

"Estel!" Gilrean scolded, prodding her son forward. "Be polite. Serve the tea."

Stumbling forward, Estel sent a last despairing glance at his mother as she bustled away to deal with some problems in the kitchen.

"You don't have to serve me, Estel," I said, trying to lighten the situation. "I can see where the trays are."

"Good," the boy grumbled, crossing his arms. He hadn't moved.

"Trying to escape from your room?" I continued conversationally. I had turned away, to look out the window but I could see his reflection clearly. He looked desperate and I sighed mentally. Estel wasn't helping my attempted reevaluation.

"Estel!"

I watched as Estel winced as his mother's voice rang in his ears. Apparently, whatever she was doing wasn't as engrossing as the boy would have preferred.

Shuffling forward, Estel moved toward the tea tray. "What do you want in it?"

"I can see it Estel," I replied again, still watching his reflection. "I'll handle it. Take some for yourself. You worked hard today."

The only response was a loud snort and mumbled snarls.

"Mother knows."

"About what?"

"That I don't like you."

I wasn't entirely shocked by the blatant announcement. I shifted my stance, crossing my arms and continued to pretend that I wasn't watching him. I knew, myself, that had I been of a younger age, I would have treated an unwelcome stranger with the same news.

From the corner of my eye I saw Gilrean appear and could tell by the set of her shoulders that she had been eavesdropping in on her son's words. I felt only slightly sorry for the verbal thrashing he was about to receive. I sighed as my moral standing gave me a firm nudge and I intervened.

"Estel was just telling me how much he enjoyed his practice today, and can't wait until tomorrow to continue."

I saw instantly the confusion that was sent in my direction, I didn't blame her. After all, I had postponed training until next week and Estel had just proclaimed he hated me.

_Ai, this is all a disaster. By the Valar, Erestor you are going to pay_.

"Is this true Estel?"

"Yes..."

Recovering Gilrean settled her hands down, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles in her dress. "Why don't you sit down Halbarad?"

I finally turned around and gave her a welcoming smile. "I'm afraid-and I do not mean to be rude-but if I sit I will fall asleep."

Gilrean chuckled gently, sitting herself down into the chair with the knitting basket. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," I said, seeing Estel's discomfort from the corner of my eye. I knew, only too well, what it felt like to be caught in the middle of an adult conversation. "How about you Estel. Do you like hunting?"

The boy shifted, shrugged. "I've never been hunting," he muttered. "Elrond won't let me leave the city." His eyes flashed up, hard and accusing. "Do you know why?"

"Estel!" Gilrean exclaimed, her head jerking up. "That was uncalled for, apologize this instant!"

"No, no it's alright," I raised a hand, and refocused on Estel. I had finally figured out why I had been called over at such a preposterous hour. It was to test the water, to see how I would react to Estel and how he would react to me; a mother judging how safe her son was, in the hands of this newest trainer.

"Well go on," Estel said mulishly.

"You're young yet," I continued, raising my hand again in an attempt to forestall any outbursts. "And I'm sure that Elrond has been concerned for your safety, but you know what? I'm going to talk to him, and maybe we can arrange for a day when you can go hunting."

Wary appreciation entered his eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Plenty serious," I replied.

As if deciding that I had passed a test, Gilrean straightened her eyes shining with new warmth and her lips parted into a wide smile. "Sit! Sit!"

Not wishing to continue to press my case, I settled down into the seat I had earlier occupied. The table was within easy reach of my hands and I quickly leaned forward to pluck three pastries from the plate.

Watching wide-eyed and seeing no reprimand coming from his mother Estel quickly did the same, secreting a few in his pockets for later use. I pretended not to notice, and sent him a quiet smile.

The rest of the evening passed in companionable conversation and silence and it would have ended just as well had I not dozed off in my chair, and then succumbed to a slumber of which neither mother or son could wake me.

I would wake, the next morning, in the same chair, cramped, but to hear the laughter from the kitchen and the tentative answer to a question.

_"I guess I can give Halbarad a second chance."_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from this story, I wish I did though!

A/N: Alright so apparently no one here reads English, which I find faintly surprising. Well thank you to all of you who can read English and made my day that much brighter! Hope you all enjoy this next installment, it dedicated to those that showed me a little support.

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First Impressions-Chap3-

"Lord Elrond please listen to me for just one minute," I gritted out. My teeth were clenched and my jaw was aching from the tension. Though my hands were spread across the Elven Lord's desk, my knuckles were stained white, as if I had been balling them into fists and preparing for a brawl. I was also fairly certain that my eyes were smoldering.

Now, I knew many regarded me as a level-headed man, always taking my time and regarding the possibilities before I acted. While I would much like to nod my head and agree with such statements, I also knew I was rash at times and that there even other times when I portrayed a smudge of immaturity from my childhood past that stubbornly refused to leave me alone. At this point in time however, I discredited all statements made about my sense of person. I was mad. Nearly furious enough to scatter the reports that Lord Elrond was calmly poring over, while he pretended I was not in the room. It is safe to say that I had not been angry very many times in my life, and the raw emotion surging through my body gave me a false sense of braveness, and yes, rashly, I was not about to back down.

What had started as a pleasant afternoon call had now become an all out battle of wits and will. As soon as Elrond had heard my proposal about letting Estel try a bit of hunting, his face had shuttered immediately and his head had sunk down as his voice let out a stern, "_No."_ At this point it would have been wise for me to lick my wounds and retreat, but I, with the immaturity that liked to rear its ugly head at the worst moments, insisted. Were it not for the beautiful sunshine and glorious birdsong trilling through the open window, I would have sworn that there was a thunderstorm crackling and raging over Rivendell.

A slight rustle of paper drew me away from my serious contemplations of my actions. I realized I was still leaning threateningly over Elrond's desk, my eyes dark with anger. The Elf Lord had just settled a sheet to the side and was dipping his pen back into the ink well. Calm, unflustered, but he looked up when I let out a loud snort of breath through my nose and disturbed his neat stack.

"Halbarad, you're still here I see. Please, try not to ruin the pile. Erestor had a hard time putting it back together the last time he knocked it from my desk, I doubt you will relish in such a task."

My iron will momentarily faltered as I eyed the stack and seriously thought about what Elrond was implying. It seriously looked like a daunting task, filled with ink stains and worn fingers. Almost unconsciously I leaned back, and probably would have left too had Elrond not let loose a momentary smirk of triumph. I was sure the emotion was a mistake, for Elrond was well and truly controlled over what feeling he chose to reveal, and here too, I should have noticed what the slip meant.

Nevertheless, I leaned back, bringing my head uncomfortably close. "Lord Elrond the boy is nearly fourteen summers old. He has never been hunting, has never actually done anything with a sword but swing it at air and you..." and here I paused for a fraction of a second, and bit back my words about him being Gondor's heir. I was already pushing the patience of Rivendell's Lord by pursuing the matter carelessly..."And what kind of Father are you?"

At this Elrond's eyes lifted and very carefully he set down his pen, but there was an edge to his movement, a dangerous hint that spoke of a storm to come. Silence fell outside the window as if the very air of Rivendell could sense the tension brewing in a certain study on the second floor.

Putting his hands against the edge of his desk, Lord Elrond slowly slid his chair back and stood. His eyes never left mine, and they were steely, blank of emotion, but he had the ominous air of a Balrog; though in fact my opinion was a rather biased one as I had never actually met a Balrog, and never actually intended to meet one.

"Halbarad," he said his voice flat.

I winced, hunching my shoulders up as if they could swallow me. I had really pushed the line. He was doing the 'famous' Elrond speech, one that I had often heard Elrohir and Elladan lament about. They had always warned me that when he yelled, it was fairly safe to yell back and point out your side of the story, but when his voice went flat and everything seemed to take on one extra step to complete, such as setting his pen down, it was best to cower and run. I had never actually thought I would witness this particular wrath, as it happened very rarely, but as I saw now, Eru was not favoring me this day.

"Halbarad," he said again.

"Yes Lord Elrond?" I asked, realizing that he was waiting for an answer. I struggled to make my tone neutral, appear unafraid. I was doing everything _but_ what Elladan and Elrohir had told me to. I knew I would regret it.

"Do not assume you know everything about being a Father," Elrond continued. "Surely, if you would like to try the experience, there are plenty of unmarried Elven women in Ilmadris, though I am rather sure they would not appreciate the advances of a Ranger."

I winced again, bringing my shoulders as high as they would go. I kicked uselessly at the rug, and contemplated, briefly, running for the door. Of course though that would be no good, Elrond would just find me and haul me back, more furious then ever.

"As I rather doubt you wish to try that," Elrond continued, leaning now close to me, his eyes flinty. "Then I would prefer that you kept your mouth shut on matters that do not concern you."

My mouth opened for a moment to deliver a stinging rebuke, but at the last moment thought better and shut it. I suppose though that all the emotion did not drain from my face, as Elrond continued to stare at me.

"Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Lord Elrond," I replied stiffly.

"Very well then," he said, and a smile graced his face though it did not reach his eyes. "I am glad that we have gotten over this little disagreement." So saying he reached out and secured his chair beneath him, acting as if nothing had happened.

Instantly recognizing a clear dismissal, I turned and struggled not to run as I neared the door. I could feel his eyes burning into my back, even while I could hear the resumed noise of his pen scratching against parchment. Birdsong had failed to announce itself again.

A breath I did not know I had been holding escaped my lips with a shattered sigh of relief as I shut the door behind me. My shoulders slumped and my eyes turned down, as my knees trembled. I gripped the door handle tightly in my hand, almost fearing I would collapse.

The faint, almost imperceptible rustle of cloth made me lift my eyes and my anger came sweeping back. Estel was standing next to a window, half leaning out of it as if wondering how much it would hurt when he hit the bottom, or whether he would feel anything at all. I seriously doubted that the young boy would jump, but nonetheless I straightened a bit and scanned the halls. It was completely empty, and with a sinking feeling, I suddenly knew I had left the door partially opened when I had entered. My thoughts were confirmed when Estel moved his hand toward his face and refused to look at me.

Though I had only fallen asleep in Gilrean's living room three nights before, a strange and fragile truce had bonded me and Estel together. While we still bickered, it usually petered off into us glaring sullenly before hesitant laughs escaped our lips, much to the amusement of the other Elves in the area. They found our growing friendship as some new form of entertainment and the gossip, though thankfully correct, was flying with a full wind to bolster its wings.

"I tried," I said quietly, moving to the boy. I held out a hand to touch his shoulder but then lowered it and instead leaned next to him against the stone sill.

"I know," he muttered, looking out over the valley, blinking his eyes fiercely. "Thank you."

I turned toward the ominous study door, and then lowered my head closer to Estel's. "Well you know what?"

The boy turned to look at me, a questioning brow raised. His eyes had a defeated look to them. "No what?" he mumbled, not looking particularly excited by my words.

"I think," I continued, pitching my voice low and unhurried as a grin crept across my face. "I think I just had a temporary case of deafness."

Curious now, Estel tilted his head. "A case of deafness?"

I nodded my head my eyes glimmering. "In fact, I'm quite sure Elrond just gave me permission to let you go hunting. Of course, so long as we stay well within Rivendell's bounds and in clear range of the scouts."

With a loud whoop Estel leapt up, his eyes shining. The particular point of being watched at all times didn't dampen the glow in his eyes as he laughed like an enthusiastic youngster and bounded up down, shouting various phrases of joy.

Despite my want to join Estel, I reached out and grabbed his shoulder, shooting him a warning glance, and nodded my head toward the door. Estel followed my eyes and blushed slightly, realizing that his adopted father could have possibly heard his outburst.

"Tell your mother we're doing a bit of practicing and meet me at the front door alright?" I murmured; almost low enough that he couldn't hear me.

Estel nodded even as he fought to dampen the light in his eyes. He was failing miserably, but I wasn't particularly concerned. The Elves would read little into it, and would merely assume it was a trivial thing.

"Right now?"

"Right now," I nodded, trying to keep my own smile from growing. "I'll hurry."

Clapping a hand on my shoulder, Estel nodded and bounded away, nearly shouting out again in joy. I followed a few moments after, pretending to look humiliated and frightened by Elrond's lecture. The look wasn't hard to conjure, and it wasn't nearly as fake as I would have liked it to be. In fact, my knees were still trembling and I was sure I would have nightmares about it for many months to come.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from this story, I wish I did though!

A/N: Thanks for everyone who is supporting me. And I'm terribly sorry; I've noticed how erratic my updates are and I'm quite ashamed by it. I promise I'm going to try and update these chapter more frequently, but my time flies! If I don't, feel free to use me as target practice...as long as I get to wear armor please! )

First Impressions-Chap4-

Estel proved himself to be a born hunter. Except for the few instances in the beginning, the finding of the fresh track and exclaiming it quite loudly, being one, he for the most part remained composed and listened intently to my words of advice. He also pretended not to notice the watching eyes from the trees, and acted like he was hunting all alone.

At this particular instance, I was hovering to the side, my hand gently on top of Estel's bow as the boy quivered with excitement. The deer we had been tracking had paused in a small forest clearing and was glancing around with wide eyes, as if sensing our presence but not knowing where it was coming from.

For me to have spoken at such an instant would have been fatal to the whole hunting experience, but my subtle gestures were enough I noted, and Estel kept his bow low, and his arrows remained in his quiver. His eyes were eagerly scouting out, waiting for the moment where the deer would either flee or bend its head and feed upon the summer grass.

Tensely we both waited as the minutes slipped by. Our muscles began to cramp from our compromising positions, but neither of us dared to move and breathed only with the slightest of breaths, though our lungs ached to draw upon the sweet air and taste it. Then, as if it had finally pronounced itself safe, the deer lowered its head again and began to thoughtfully feed in its slow unhurried manner. The pale tan of its coat shifted with the patterns of the sun drifting from the trees, but it was broadside to us, and a shot would not be difficult, if Estel gauged the right distance and the right height the bow would need.

As if sensing that it was possible to shoot, Estel shifted his hand atop mine, and my eyes flickered toward his. Letting my lips twitch at the look in his eye, I whispered quietly. "It's a two-pointer, probably a young buck that just got kicked out by his mother."

For a moment Estel faltered as he thought of this, or as he truly realized he was about to kill a living creature but then, as if coming to terms with what he was about to do, his resolve held firm and he nodded quietly and held his bow tighter.

"Are you sure?" I murmured no patronizing tone in my voice. I didn't want to push the boy, and I certainly didn't want to make him feel like he had to shoot the deer that was before us.

He nodded again. "He's limping," he informed me, his voice pitched in a hushed whisper. "Probably injured it somehow, he won't survive the winter. The wolves will take him down."

I smiled, approving of how the boy had picked up the slight hint that the deer was not as healthy as it tried to project. I withdrew slightly. "Good luck."

Shocked for only a minute that I was placing total trust in him, Estel then blinked and reached a hand toward his quiver. His breath hitching slightly, he slid it into his bow, knocking it silently. Twisting his body he kneeled, bringing the bow up soundlessly. His breath feathered out as he stopped breathing, so his arms would not shake with each intake and outtake. With a fluid motion he drew back the arrow and poised for a breathless moment perfecting the height and angle his arrow would fly.

With a humming spring the arrow jumped from the bow and flew in a graceful arc. Watching it carefully with my eyes I saw it embed itself in the deer's side. A smile of pride graced my face as I watched the young buck startle, jumping, his hooves kicking in as his head snapped about, wondering where the blow had come from. He began to run, the initial reaction to being hit by an unfamiliar object but he had gotten no more than a few steps when he began to waver, turning about in a confused circle. Then with a great exhalation of breath he collapsed to his side, and did not move.

For a baited moment of silence I remained quiet, turning my eyes to Estel, and for a moment I was worried. His young eyes were wide, as he held the bow tightly. It was as if he could not believe he had achieved what he had just done. But slowly, with a goofy grin taking residence, the boy turned his head toward me, and his eyes shined. I could see a glimmer of resignation for killing the animal below the surface but also the acceptance and reverence he would bestow upon the buck.

Without warning, Estel jumped to his feet, dropping his bow. Turning to me, he looked down. "I shot it!" he exclaimed. "I got it! I got! Halbarad did you see that?"

Nodding, I slowly stood, brushing the foliage from my knees. "Why don't you go see Estel?"

"By myself?" he asked, his eyes widening as they traveled toward the motionless form lying in the grass. "I can?"

"Go ahead," I smiled. "He is yours."

Whooping again, Estel dashed out, his trepidations forgot in the surge of joy coursing through his body.

I smiled wistfully remembering my first hunt. Regretfully, I put the thought to the back of my mind and turned about, scanning the trees. "Elladan? Elrohir? Are you there? I thought I sensed your presences."

Immediately two identical dark-haired Elves dropped from the trees, and landed silently on the forest floor, their weapons making barely a rustle as they executed the move with barely a thought.

"Elrond is going to skin you alive Halbarad," Elladan said, so defined by the green cloak he wore. His mouth was twitching downward, as he glanced toward his foster brother.

"Yes imagine our surprise that upon returning from an errand, we are accosted by our own sentries who insist we take a detour into the forest," Elrohir said, a brown cloak slung over his shoulders.

"Indeed," Elladan replied, his eyes hadn't moved. "And imagine our greater surprise when we learn it is our little brother hunting, surely without the permission of our father."

I shrugged, pretending to not notice how unsettling their twin gazes were, despite the fact that they weren't even looking at me. I turned my head to see Estel kneeling down beside his deer, and gently stroking its neck, and I felt another surge of pride. The boy had been raised well.

"I remember my first kill," Elrohir commented unexpectedly. "It was a doe, nothing as grand as this."

Elladan turned his eyes to his brother and a smile now tugged at his face. He shrugged his shoulders. "As I recall it was a doe because you missed the buck, Elrohir."

Elrohir frowned. "It was because you poked me as I recall."

Sensing a potential argument I raised my hands in peace and backed up a few paces. Noticing my moves instantly the two brothers laughed and held their own hands up in their own gesture of truce.

"We might as well congratulate Estel," Elladan said, laughing. "We can deal with our _Adar _after."

"Elladan, Elrohir? Is that you?" Estel cried from the field, his voice pitched an octave higher in his enthusiasm. "Come here!"

Smiling, the twins moved by me in their calm, unhurried way but they could not quite mask the pride in their eyes as the saw their brother shout. Having no wish to interrupt the reunion and praise, I stepped away, but a sudden hand on my shoulder stopped me.

Surprised I turned my head to see Elladan looking at me. He turned and nodded back. "You're part of the family too. Come on."

Smiling, I turned and followed Elladan back toward Estel who was gibbering like a five-year old child. I decided that no matter how much trouble I would get into later, it would all be worth it. Well...maybe not.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from this story, I wish I did though!

A/N: Thanks to everyone who dropped a little review last chapter and supported my story! This chapter is for you...thanks a million again. You're awesome!!!!

* * *

First Impressions-Chap5- 

After the regular congratulatory praises toward Estel, Elladan and Elrohir offered to sling the deer between their horses' backs, and only dress it when they returned to Rivendell. Estel had eagerly tried to help with the process but discovered soon enough that a young deer was heavier then it looked, which sent us all into fits of laughter, with whispers of it coming from the surrounding trees. It was apparent that our audience had not yet left.

Nevertheless it was without major delay that found the four of us returning to Rivendell upon the oft invisible path that was lined with white stones. Estel was chatting happily away, not seeming to realize that he was going over the details of the hunt for the hundredth time. With infinitely patient faces his brothers nodded at the appropriate times and exclaimed at the others. I, for my part, was doing less then a good job of listening. My mind kept wandering to what Elrond would do to me when I returned, and even the frequent hard jabs to my ribs didn't do much to pull me from my state of mind.

We had only just passed the narrow bridge that spanned across the noisy waters that rushed below and into Rivendell when we were greeted. It was Gilraen. There was flour in her hair and a bird imprinted apron tied loosely around her waist. Her hair, which I was sure, had been neatly pinned away for the day of cooking had come loose to fly in wisps about her face.

"Estel!" she cried, and without thinking gathered her son tightly in her arms, ignoring his squawks of protest and the embarrassed flush creeping across his face. "What were you thinking?" she continued, pushing him away and staring at the blood on his hands. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine Naneth," Estel muttered, his eyes tracing out the pattern of cobblestones beneath his feet. "I was hunting."

"Hunting?" Gilraen cried, her hands fluttering to her face. There was a look of utter horror and fright in her eyes.

Estel nodded, saying nothing.

"Gilraen," Elrohir injected smoothly, gliding up to the distraught mother. He put a hand on her shoulder. "Estel has a beautiful shot, you would be stricken with envy had you been there to see it. And our dear Halbarad had a careful eye upon him the whole time; there was nothing to worry about."

"Except for a certain Ranger that feels the need to disobey every order I have ever given!"

I blanched, and stepped back. I hadn't seen Lord Elrond coming, and I still didn't see him, as almost instinctively my eyes sought out the pattern that Estel had been searching for just minutes ago.

"Never mind him," Elrohir continued, ignoring his father's warning tone.

"Elrohir, Elladan you're dismissed."

A hand settled on my shoulder, and I lifted my eyes marginally toward Elladan. There was a look of compassionate understanding in the depths of the Elf's eyes.

"Good luck," he said softly to me, giving my shoulder a strengthening squeeze. "We'll leave the horses here, Adar's anger is sure to not last long, and once he sees how well Estel had done, he will forgive you."

I nodded, unable to find a suitable retort to Elladan's words. I heard the whisper of their footsteps as they moved away, and toward, no doubt the kitchens, as was their habit when they returned from long trips. It was also well known, that they were often chased from the warm and pleasantly smelling domain with brooms when their fingers began to wander too much for the cooks liking.

For a long moment after, there was a dreadful hanging silence surrounding the air around us. I had briefly dared my fear and glanced up, and upon seeing Elrond's stony face, a face that betrayed no emotion but thundered with his anger, I had quickly lowered it. Another brief foray from my study of the cobblestones had revealed that Estel was in much the same state I was in.

"My apologies Gilraen," Elrond said at last.

Startled by his voice I lifted my head to see that he had moved to put a comforting arm around the mother's shoulders. I mentally winced, as I knew that I had forgotten to include Gilraen in my little plans. I made a mental note to not forget to tell her the next time Estel and I ventured out. Instantly I corrected that to a major _if_ we ever got the chance.

"I was told that Halbarad was a trustworthy and mature young man," Elrond continued, his voice hard. "I was told that responsibility could be rested firmly on his shoulders and that he would not falter. My apologies Gilraen, this shall not happen again."

Gilraen but nodded, seemingly unable to master the technique of speech, as her eyes remained fastened on her son, almost fervently searching for any wounds though he had assured her that he was not hurt.

"As for you."

I jerked sharply, straightening my spine and snapping my head up instinctively to the commanding voice. My own voice though, when I found it, was meek and wavering, "yes?"

"See to it that your bags are packed for your journey home tomorrow Halbarad," Elrond said. "I see that it was wrong to bring you here."

"Yes Lord Elrond," I murmured, and moved to walk away from him, leaving the horses, Estel and the deer behind.

"Halbarad," his voice called out to me, halting my progress.

"Yes Lord Elrond?"

"I will be giving you a letter; please do not forget to give it to your leader when you return home."

I winced, hunching my shoulders. "Yes Lord Elrond." I started to shuffle away again, my feet dragging along the ground.

"As for you Estel..."

Against my will, I paused, and with my last shred of dignity I turned around. It wasn't fair. Estel shouldn't be punished; he had been merely following my orders. "Lord Elrond?"

"Halbarad, I thought I had dismissed you."

"Yes Lord Elrond," I agreed, fighting to work around an unwilling tongue. With a deep breath I pulled my shoulders back and stood straighter. "Lord Elrond, it is not fair to punish Estel. The blame rests entirely on my shoulders. It was me that disobeyed and truly, Estel did not know my plans. It was only when we entered the forest did he realize that something was amiss."

Elrond's eyes focused sharply on the young boy. "Is this true?" he demanded.

Uncertainly Estel's eyes traveled to mine, and I gave a little nod, telling him to accept what I had sacrificed.

"Yes Lord Elrond," he muttered, lowering his eyes. "I didn't want to go, but Halbarad insisted that it was for my education and that you had approved of it." Then some of the old excitement started brewing back, and forgetting himself the teenager looked up, his eyes shining. "But Lord Elrond I got a buck! He was injured, and the wolves would have eaten him had we not ended his life. Would you like to see him?"

For an instant I witnessed Elrond's shoulders soften, and his stance shift, and I was truly surprised. Just as a quickly though, he shimmered back, angry and resolute again. "Did you?" his tone was almost like ice.

Either not hearing the warning, or too enthused to notice it, Estel nodded. He darted forward and grabbed his mother's hand, perhaps the smartest move he had made since his mouth had opened to speak. "Mother! Come look! Elrohir and Elladan tied him between the horses," he said, tugging her forward. "It was sad to shoot him, but I knew I had too...it was less painful then had the wolves got him. Will the wolves still be able to eat Naneth?"

"Yes Estel," she said in a dazed voice, reaching out and stroking her son's dark hair as he tugged her forward.

Apparently forgotten, I watched as Elrond slowly inched forward himself, and though I could not see his eyes, I was sure they were brimming with curiosity. It appeared that Elladan had not been far from the mark, when he said Elrond would soften once he saw the deer. As there was no longer anything I had to worry about, as my dignity, honor and not to mention my sense of pride had been obliterated with a well aimed blow by the Elf Lord, I inched forward myself, trying to remain inconspicuous as possible.

The horses' ears flicked forward, and they both gave a soft snort as they recognized the scent of Estel and Elrond. Not recognizing Gilraen they give a little dance, but neither managed to move far, due to the animal hanging between them. For a long moment no one spoke, as each gazed quietly at the unmoving buck.

It was Gilraen who moved first, not unexpectedly, but surely a lot sooner then I had thought she would. She reached out taking her son back into her arms, where as if understanding the need, Estel remained quiet.

"He is a beautiful deer," she murmured proudly to him. "I am so happy for you."

"Indeed," Elrond replied. There was a peculiar note in his voice though, as if he was forcing the words around his anger, or as if they were tumbling out against his will. "It appears that you have beaten both my sons."

"It is not a game," Estel said firmly, peaking around his mother's shoulders. "I honored him Lord Elrond, and I am sad that I had to kill him."

Lord Elrond nodded, contemplating the silent animal. "You are right, the killing of such a graceful creature is no game," he agreed. "But it is allowed, I suppose, to tease your brothers about their first hunt. After all, they returned home with a doe, and here you have a fine young buck."

Estel's eyes gleamed as he searched Elrond's face for any hint of a lie. Seeing none he let out a little whoop of delight and gave his mother a tight hug, startling her by the suddenness of it.

"Estel, lead the horses to the kitchen so the cooks can prepare your buck for an evening's supper."

"Tonight?" Estel asked hopefully, reaching out to take the rein's of one of the horses. Elrohir and Elladan had had a long journey in the lands of the south, and had taken the saddles as part of their disguise.

"Not tonight," Elrond chuckled. "It is a long process to prepare the meat, if you are interested, I'm sure the cooks would be more than overjoyed to show you how it is done."

Nodding, Estel moved forward, after sending a boyish grin at his mother. Gilraen replied to the gesture with her own smile, her eyes losing the astounded touch that had been living in them since her son's return.

Turning to Elrond she smiled faintly, patting down her apron and sending motes of flour to dance on the air. "Forgive my appearance Lord Elrond," she said her cheeks flushing. "When I heard of Estel's return, I was so afraid."

"It is alright my dear," Elrond murmured, reaching out and placing a hand consolingly on her shoulder. "I am proud of your son."

"I am proud of him as well," Gilraen said. "May I be dismissed Lord Elrond?"

"You do not have to ask me that," Elrond chided gently. He leant forward though. "I will be holding a celebratory dinner this evening for Estel. It is my wish that you keep it from him, but make sure he dresses appropriately, though it is nearly too late in the day for the meals to change."

Gilraen nodded. "I will prepare a few deserts Lord Elrond," she promised and broke away, hurrying to where I was still standing, rooted to the spot. She paused when she saw me, and a soft smile touched her face. She mouthed a hurried 'thank you' and continued on her way.

"Halbarad."

I stiffened immediately. "Yes Lord Elrond? Forgive my eavesdropping, but I felt you had more to say to me."

"No more to say," Elrond said, his eyes going steely once again. "You will be in the courtyard before the dawn approaches. I do not plan on seeing you this evening."

"I am not forgiven?" the words jumped from my mouth before I had fully processed them, and ashamed I looked down.

"You knew of this before you took Estel out. You disobeyed me directly and there are consequences that have to be paid, these are your consequences."

"Yes Lord Elrond." I knew it was useless to argue it out; there was the tone in the Elf's voice that said he wouldn't budge for all the groveling and begging in Middle-Earth. I turned away, but Elrond's voice halted me once again.

"Halbarad, I will have the letter by tomorrow, do not forget it."

"Yes Lord Elrond," I muttered, shame filling me. I could not say I was pleased, for though I knew I would be punished for taking Estel outside of the city, I had never thought the repercussions would hurt so much. I felt in my heart, and knew that this would be the last journey to my room, and I wondered if I would ever be allowed to return to Rivendell, or allowed to see Estel again.

The day suddenly seemed less bright.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from this story, I wish I did though!

A/N: Well here ya go! Another chapter for everyone, ENJOY!

First Impressions-Chap6-

Only the glow of the candles that rested in their sheltered nooks kept me company in my enforced silence, and even then their shadows played amongst themselves, carefree and content, completely ignoring my plea for an aid to rid me of my sorrow. My hands seem to move upon their own accord, moving shirts, breeches and any other item I had brought to Rivendell with me, into my pack. All the while my mind seemed detached, screaming as if caught in some nightmare I could not awaken from. And all the while, I could hear the revelry below me, taunting me, mocking me, and reminding me how much I had managed to tear apart all that I had gained.

When the knock resounded at my door, I gave it little thought before I allowed entrance. A part of me urged my hope; teasing it by saying perhaps it was Lord Elrond coming back. I knew better.

"Halbarad, what are you doing? How come you didn't join us for supper?"

My hands stilled their automatic motion and I glanced up toward my doorway. Estel was staring back at me, dressed in dark blue finery, with a tasteful edge of silver embroidery hemming the collar and cuffs. He was wearing a set of new boots, rolled halfway up his calves, but there were already scuff marks on them, attesting to some misadventure.

Unable to keep my eyes upon the boy I was supposed to have been tutoring, I glanced back down, my hands moving again, only to find there was nothing left to pack. Sighing, I closed the flap, cinching it shut. Still Estel did not leave and I realized he would not until I answered.

"I received word today from my village," I said at last, my heart growing heavier as the lie spilled from my lips. "A close friend of my family is very ill. Elrond allowed me time to visit her and see her recovery, if Eru so wishes she recovers."

A soft noise came from Estel's lips, but I didn't look up, though I yearned too. I knew if I did though, he would know I was lying, and I could not bear the hurt and immediate distrust he would have in me if he found out. I knew what I did was wrong, but I also knew, that if I hadn't, Estel would have acted rashly and it would have led to serious consequences.

"When will you return?"

"Either when she is well, or when she has passed to Mandos' Halls and into his care."

There was another silence, and I could hear Estel's fingers playing with the wood that rimmed my door. I stared at my pack, my mind mentally running an inventory, wondering if I had forgotten anything.

"Will you come down at least to enjoy the rest of the evening?"

"No Estel," I murmured. "I have a long journey ahead of me."

"Oh, alright," Estel murmured, sounding disconsolate.

My heart clenched as I heard him turn and the soft _snick_ of the door clicking into place. I waited a full ten heartbeats before I screamed, lifting my pack and hurling it at the far wall. I didn't bother to wait for the inevitable contact before I slumped to my knees, pressing my face against the coverlet and throwing my hands over my head.

Against my wishes my shoulders began to convulse, as tears marked their course down my face. What had I done? What had I possibly done to deserve a punishment this harsh? I know I had made a mistake, but look how well Estel had done! And Elrond had been proud of him, had admitted it, but yet he still saw fit to completely destroy me. Why?

"Shush, shush," a soft voice murmured.

My muscles bunched together for one delirious moment of panic before I recognized the voice. I lifted my head then, feeling the arms around me, but Gilraen shushed me again, pushing my head back onto her shoulder.

"Just let it blow over like a storm," she murmured to me. "He'll come to his senses, I promise you."

I tried to respond, but my tongue tripped and I felt the salty taste of tears against it. I found myself leaning toward the touch, no longer ashamed that I had cried for the first time in years. In Gilraen's arms I found a motherly peace as she comforted a man that she barely knew.

I do not know how long I rested there, letting my misery take the best of me, but finally I found I could let no more out, and I pulled away, dragging the heels of my palms across my wet lids. "Forgive me for my foolish actions."

"Fear not," Gilraen smiled. "You are a son to me, as much as my Estel, when you are under Rivendell's roof."

"Then I am no son at all," I demurred. "For Elrond has kicked me far from this roof and hearth. I am to find my way..."

"Shush," Gilraen said, stopping me. "I stood there while he punished you. I will speak to him. Rest your heart now, in the morning perhaps things will be better."

I nodded, but did not allow myself to be disillusioned. I knew the set tone in Elrond's voice as he had shattered me, and I knew that no force would move him, and I knew too that Gilraen knew this, but that she was seeking to bolster me. Unable to let her efforts go to waste, I gave her a watery smile and clambered slowly to my feet, where I then offered her a hand.

"Go to your own rest," I urged her. "The night is late."

"Not so late for those that have found the barrels that never run dry," Gilraen said, an amused grin spreading across her face.

I gave her another smile, as I aided her toward the door, bidding her a good night. When I was alone, I wandered to my bed, throwing myself upon its length, fully clothed, without a second look at the accusing pack that lay unwanted against the wall.

The night itself seemed never to end, and I tossed continuously without ever once finding a comfortable position, or a place where my mind would surrender itself to Irmo's sweet dreams.

When pale light tinged the horizon, I finally gave up, more tired then I had been before I had attempted to sleep. Pulling myself from the bed, I scrubbed a hand over my face, staring at the floor. I wondered perhaps, if I rolled over and pulled the covers over my head that I would awaken and it would be yesterday morning. Then I could fix my mistake, and make amends with Elrond. In fact, maybe all that had happened was naught but a troubled dream.

I knew the truth though, and knew that no matter how much I tried to see it differently, it would simply not work. With a long sigh, I slowly stood, trudging toward my pack, slinging it over my shoulder, and heading toward the door, and then the courtyard where Elrond, my horse and the letter awaited me.

The hallways were still quiet, a result I was sure was from the feast the night before. There was evidence of it in various places, an unconscious Elf slumped over a bench, and dried wine that had snaked across the stained stones. No doubt I would be missing the major cleanup effort that would soon occur. I guess there was one good point to leaving so early that morning.

The attempt to encourage my spirits did little to raise them.

When I arrived in the courtyard, it was to find Elrond alone, holding the reins of my horse. There was something clenched in his right fist, and his eyes had a look that seemed to have been chiseled from stone.

Lowering my eyes, I jogged down the steps. "Good morning my lord," I murmured.

"Good morning to you Halbarad," Elrond replied coldly. "There are supplies enough in the saddle bags to last you the journey."

"You are too kind."

"Indeed." Elrond handed me the letter, which despite the fact that it had been clenched in his fist, was without a crease. "Make sure this gets to your Elder."

"Yes Lord Elrond," I said, taking the horse's reins, and I mounted up quietly, holding the letter in my hand. I wanted nothing more to throw it away, but knew that Elrond would simply send another messenger that would relay the news. There was no way I was going to get away from it.

Clenching my jaw, I jerked back on the reins, startling my horse into turning around smartly. Thumping my heels lightly into his side, I began to make my way toward the bridge that would lead me to the final blow upon my exile.

"Halbarad!"

The voice stopped me short, and hauling back, I turned in my saddle. I watched my eyes saddened as Estel darted from the house, his hair tousled and feet bare. He was still clothed in his sleeping wear, his chest bare.

Without seeming to move, Elrond reached out, snagging the boy into his arms. Instantly, Estel began shouting, thrashing and trying to get away, anger in his eyes.

"Halbarad don't!" he shouted at me desperately. There were tears in his eyes. "Don't go away! You're the best teacher I've ever had. Please stay! I don't care what Elrond says."

"Come away," Elrond said, trying to make his tone placid.

"No!"

My breath shuddering, I turned back around, pressing my heels into the horse, urging him on again. Estel's screams raged on my ears, drowning out Elrond as he tried to calm him. I wanted so bad to turn around and tell him that it was a bad joke, but I couldn't, because it wasn't a joke. It was reality, sharp, cold and precise.

A morning mist hung over the air, blanketing me, and worshiping my sadness. And I wondered how Estel had found out the truth, for surely he had, there was no other explanation for why he had come pelting out of the House, so far from his own.

Behind me, Rivendell dwindled into silence, but despite the distance, Estel's pleas came ever clearer to my ears, as if he were sitting right next to me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** Please refer to other chapters, I do not feel like repeating myself today

First Impressions-Chap7-

It was nearly a fortnight before I returned to the place of my birth and youth. During those long periods of time, I stalled my journey as much as I dared, even though I knew that at the end all the efforts to prolong the return were naught but a procrastination in an attempt to forfeit the inevitable. Normally the journey would have taken me only a week to complete.

Due to my unexpected arrival, the villagers welcomed me with bemused, yet glowing smiles, asking to the meaning of my return. My solemn gaze, and closed lips made most drift off to congregate in tight groups, gossiping amongst themselves. I mentally winced at this, but it was soon to get worse, as the _real_ reason I had returned home became apparent.

From here things only degraded worse. I was shunned, and was given the lowliest of the work effort, woman's tasks. When I went about the woman shied their children toward their skirts, and whispered darkly in their ears. My mood slipped, and as the day flowed by, marked only by the change of light and dark, I became more depressed. I locked myself in my home and let the dust build, and let life pass me by. Yet also, a rage began to grow within me, festering deep in my mind; an anger that was rooted in the letter that I had been forced to give to my Elder. Elrond had ruined my life, and he had caused this failure in me. I refused to remember that it had been I that had let Estel hunt against the rules.

It was on a crisp morning, a morning that whispered at the gradual change in seasons, when a fist beat on my door. I had been sleeping in a rickety chair by my clogged fireplace, and was startled from my sleep. Lurching forward, I dragged a hand through my hair, glaring at the offensive piece of wood, my head pounding fiercely. I spotted an empty flagon by my chair and strove to remember what had happened the evening before. There was nothing but a blank.

The knock came back, and stumbling forward I wrenched the door open, leaning unsteadily against it. Instinctively, I flinched from the light, my eyes squeezing shut. A surprised gasp, made me open them, and I tried, unsuccessfully to focus on the person standing in my doorway.

"Halbarad," a gentle breath escaped the woman's lips after she spoke. "What has Lord Elrond done?"

I drew away from the cursed name, and realized belatedly who was at my door. "It is not wise for you to be seen with me Gilraen," I said, moving back, and began shutting the door.

Faster then I thought possible she her hand shot out, stopping my movement shortly. "Halbarad, I beg you, listen!" she cried. "Estel is missing."

I stopped short, my breath drawing in sharply. My eyes that had just a moment before been blurred sharpened with unbelievable clarity. I noticed in the spans of moments that Gilraen was standing in predawn light, a dark brown riding cloak drawn up over her face, hiding her careworn face. Her dress was muddied and torn in places.

Dragging a hand down my face, I nearly staggered, as I felt a light brush of hair against my face. Since when I had allowed my beard to get so scraggly and unkempt? "Come in," I said a little dazed, moving back.

Saying nothing, Gilraen swept into the house, sizing up the untidy mess discreetly, making no comment on my state of living.

For a long moment neither of us said anything. My head was still reeling with the uncomfortable effects of last night's attempt to forget my life. Though I understand the grave implications of Estel's disappearance I found myself unable to fully absorb the shock.

"Halbarad," Gilraen said at last, turning away from her inspection of my clogged fireplace. Moving gracefully across the floor, and creating little whirls of dust, she came to stand before me. Looking up into my eyes, she lifted a hand and gently touched my roughened cheek. I flinched, and looked down ashamed. "Has Elrond created this state of your being? Are you so cast into despair that you forget the love that Estel had shown you?"

"What little does love matter?" I shot back bitterly, stepping back, feeling as if I had somehow tainted her. "None it seems. For by love I was blinded to help a child and teach him the ways of a _real _word. By love so foolishly masquerading before unjustness I was cast aside like a little girl's rag doll when it has outgrown its use." I was getting more riled by the second, all my deeply seeded angers at Elrond exploding to the front of my mind. Brushing away Gilrean's hand abruptly, I strode away from her, my legs taught and unbending with my rage. I was less steady then I had hoped to be, and my head pounded a furious beat behind my eyes. I could feel the woman's eyes upon my back, and it made me feel helpless, an all too familiar a feeling. "I do not know why you chose to seek me out," I concluded sharply, bending painfully at the waist to gather a discarded bottle. "If Estel has run away, then it is fault of mine, and seeking me out, shall only make the fault grow till it runs the length of the Great Sea. I was blinded by love, but now I see its deceit, and will make no attempt to sooth its creased lines."

"_Pig!"_

It was, perhaps, the most offensive word I had ever heard a woman use. Shocked by the ribald use of her tongue and the sharp blow in which it landed, I knew that she had used it in the cruelest way possible. I was below her, a creature of the mud that wallowed in its self pity and never tried to raise itself up from its grim existence.

From my numb fingers I let the glass bottle drop from my fingers to land with tinkling shower of breaking glass. Behind me I heard the door softly but firmly shut and the gentle _whoosh_ of old curtains being drawn into place.

"Perhaps now Halbarad, that we have reached an understanding, we can talk like civilized people."

Hardly caring for the glass that was sprinkled about my feet like the poisoned tips of an Orc's arrows, I staggered to my hazardous chair, and lowered my head, gripping my hair tightly as if the act would rid me of the months of memories that I had endured. Gilrean did not come to comfort me, yet she seemed to take my silence as an indicator to continue speaking.

"Elrond does not know that I have left the confines of Rivendell. He has been searching for Estel, and no doubt word will reach him late of my departure. I left my home in all haste, though it burdened my heart for some of it still clung to the hope that Estel was merely playing a child's joke upon me, though he is of an age to know better than to play such things upon a mother's heart," Gilrean's voice broke, almost as if she were fighting back tears. "But I came anyway, in the hopes that I may find help in a man that Estel had confided in, yet I instead I find myself on the doorstep of a _drunkard_ who has chosen to shun the world and lick his ever-bleeding wounds. You are not the man that I prayed for every night I pushed my beloved horse ever close to death because I would not let her rest. You are not the man that my Estel, my baby, chose to love. I am ashamed of you."

The words were like blow, ringing across my face with a keener edge than a blade could ever hope to have. My head drooped lower and lower, my arms come up in attempt to ward the blows away. I felt my breath coming in sharp gasps as the accusations were leveled at me, sharp and truthful. Gilrean had left without Elrond's knowledge, had left to come find me because Estel had _trusted_ me, because she felt I could find him. How I had disappointed in her.

Locked in the twisting vortex of pain, I barely heard the door shut. When I finally heard the firm echoes of it ringing in my ears, I gasped my head flying upward as I stared at the offensive piece of wood. "_Gilrean!"_ I managed to gasp out, lunging to my feet and rushing forward.

I connected with the door with a loud grunt and spent several precious seconds clawing at, searching desperately for the latch. When finally my fingers closed around the cool metal I wrenched it open unthinking and tumbled into the early dawn. The sun pierced my eyes like hot needles, cruelly punishing me for all I had become. There was a coat of dust lingering in the air, pinching my nose together and making it hard to breathe. My eyes watered, and half blinded I turned listening desperately for the noise of hooves.

Ever so faintly they reached my ears.

Against hope I reached out and rushed forward, shouting loudly, as a I stumbled and gasped for breath, my body unconditioned for the short sprint. "Gilrean! Gilrean!" I yelled loudly, my voice cracking desperately, the tone escalating to a feminine pitch.

It was then that I tripped. I sprawled out, colliding heavily on the ground with no attempt to forestall the inevitable impact. I lay there, my arms stretched out, my face buried into the hard packed dirt and the tears came again. Hot with shame and revulsion I continued to whisper her name over and over, begging for a chance to redeem myself.

I heard the latches click on other homes, people raised from the beds by the unnatural noise around them. I knew they looked out from the confines of their warm shelters but no one came to my aid, no one come to comfort me. I was utterly alone, with only the unrelenting earth beneath me.

"Oh Halbarad."

The voice, for a wild moment I felt that I had become suddenly delirious. My breath caught in my throat, I slowly lifted my dirty and tear-streaked face. Gilrean was kneeling beside me. I know not what Valar called her back to my side, and I know not what caused her change of heart, for it had been no test against my will when she had laid the wit of her tongue against me in my home, but I know that for the rest of my life I will always thank those who led _my_ Valar back to me.

Though she was smaller than me and had no hopes of lifting me from my prone position, Gilrean reached out, stroking my hair from my face. She said nothing, but there was a tender compassion on her face that I had not witnessed before. I could not speak either, my words finding blockage where the tears of my regret had not yet surfaced. Around me I heard disgruntled voice and a few derisive snorts. We ignored them all.

I do not know how long we lay there, with me, a cast off exile of society gathering strength from the beautiful Valar in front of me. I knew I was trembling, but Gilrean remained quietly at my side, speaking none of the tragic disappearance of Estel. I wanted to tell her that I would do everything I could to find him, to make him love me once again, but I found that there no words that could convey this message. I could only stare helplessly at her, but yet she seemed to understand the silent plea of my eyes, and gave my hand, which she was now holding in her delicate grip, a firm squeeze.

"Gilrean, what a pleasant surprise to see that you have graced us with a visit! But please, do not spare your time with this young man, he has fallen far and you should not waste your time upon him. Come, I will show you lodgings where you may rest, though I cannot guarantee you proper rooms, as your arrival did not precede you."

It was the voice that broke the spell. Coming back with a jolt to the world around me, I pulled away, and gingerly rolled onto my knees to stare up into the old face of my Elder. The deep creases that lined his face seemed particularly sharp in the morning light. I felt increasingly the eyes of the villagers gathering around, eager for any scrap of gossip to fuel the dreariness of the work time hours.

Yet I found that I was not the only one to stare definitely back into the Elder's eyes. Gilrean also was looking skyward, drawing her dignity to herself like a house raising from the ground and taking upon shape. With it she seemed to grow, becoming larger as if she stood, and was not kneeling upon the ground. "This man," she said at last, her voice a whip crack in the silence. "Has not fallen so far as you may wish to cast him. He has been blinded, beguiled, tormented and stepped upon. He needed love and support and yet none of it found him here. Did none of you dare question the angry words Elrond? Should you all not realize that in his fury the Lord oft forgets himself and his words take on the sinister appearance of the wolves in the night?"

The Elder cringed, appearing to shrink as if his all his power of rule was flowing from him, into the woman who knelt before his feet. He opened his mouth to stammer out an excuse but with a sharp jerk of her hand Gilrean forestalled him.

"I have not the time to bandy words with a man whose mind has fallen far like the apple from its tree and serves no more use except for the birds to pick at its bruised flesh. A man so bent under an age as yours should be spending his time in peaceful solitude. I have not the leisure, nor the time to cast you from your position, so you may retreat back to your cowardly hole to lick your wounds, perhaps in time they will allow themselves to heal, though the plague of cowards will often strike down to the core of your being."

Some of the villagers mumbled angrily amongst themselves at the disrespectful tone in Gilrean's voice. By now she had gained her feet and was pointing an unwavering finger in the Elder's direction. Almost as an afterthought it seemed, she lowered a hand to me and quietly, fearing to speak, I took it and raised myself to my feet.

"Hear me as the wife of Arathorn," Gilrean said, her voice carrying an icy tone of finality. "Should any of you dare harm your brethren, your brother, your kin, the man you call Halbarad, you are to be cast asunder from your homes and bear upon your brow the mark of the Traitor. My husband was the Chieftain of our people and through him this power comes to me, my word is not light, and it is law. Keep it close to your heart and chill your children in the night with my words. Do not forget them."

I was privately glad that I was not on the end of Gilrean's words. A power seemed to flow from her, gathering strength as she spoke. It rolled out in waves, cowing the folks, till they huddled in their doors and turned to the husbands and fathers for protection. The Elder though he stood, seemed to kneel upon the ground.

Then as odd as the power came, Gilrean seemed to diminish back to her normal size and the world seemed to breathe. Looking older than her age the woman turned to me, offering a tired smile. There was grief in her eyes, the unmistakable haunt of worry about where her son was and how his health was holding, but still she did not speak of it, as if feeling that I needed more time before I could trust myself to hear all that had happened in Rivendell since my departure.

"Come Halbarad, she can bear us both. We have a long journey ahead of us, and I have much to tell you."

I could do nothing but follow her, without sparing my home any backward glance. It was dead to me now.

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**Briefly:** A few things I want to clear up with all of you! First to **grumpy 123, Rebell, Glorfindel the Younger and Nelarun** for the precious minutes you used to review my story. Its means the world to me. My apologies for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes in here. As to the content of this chapter, to perhaps clear up a few things

**A)** The "LOVE" Halbarad speaks of is in the sense of love one would confide in a sister or brother.

AND

**B)** I understand that Gilrean is no Valar, but a mortal woman. But she came back for Halbarad and she was the only one that lifted him up. He sees her as a person some of us would call a "Guardian Angel." If there are any more questions related to the chapter, feel free to ask in a review!!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own ANYONE in this story, it all belongs to J.R.R Tolkien. Comprende?

A/N: I LIVE! I am SO sorry everyone that I have not gotten around to posting this, for reasons you don't care about. So much for my promise I suppose, but I will try to do better in the future. As a peace offer, I'm giving you all the chance to throw rotten things at me...I deserve it. I really hope this chapter makes up for it, and you'll forgive me though! On another note, thanks to everyone who took the time to review, I extremely appreciate the time you took to do so. Also to my anonymous reviewers, I thank you as well for taking the time to drop me a review. Thanks to all the support, this chapter definitely wouldn't be coming up if it weren't for you! And things will start looking up for Halbarad too, because I know everyone wants that...Alright enough of my babbling, read the chapter!...That's if, you're not too busy pelting me with rotten fruit.

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First Impressions-Chap8- 

The day which had begun odd, seemed intent to end it upon the same note it began, for we were no more than a few moments ride from the village, though it had long since been swallowed by the encroaching trees, when Gilrean suddenly burst into laughter.

Not entirely sure that I had been forgiven for my grievous acts, I half-lifted my eyes and fixed them upon the worn woman above me. I said nothing.

Sensing my eyes she turned to look at me and a smile danced around the corners of her mouth. "Such an unfortunate day!" she cried, "us with but one horse who is tired unto the last of her stamina and a man who has ill-kept himself and cannot keep pace beside me. What ill wind strives against us that we seek to do the unwise?"

I wasn't sure whether it was safe to respond. Grimly I kept my mouth shut and glanced down upon myself. It was then I realized something that Gilrean had missed. "My lady," I murmured. "I am unarmed."

Gilrean's shocked but amused laugh soared up through the trees, lending light to the shadowed morning. "What a pair of fools we make Halbarad! I had not entirely decided to forgive you, but how can I not? You seem to see the error of your ways, and for that I am pleased. You have come with me, unarmed and unprotected as a newborn, to help me find my son. What more could I ask for you in your redeeming?"

Fingering the reigns between my fingers, I let a soft smile touch my face. "It was entirely by accident my lady that I left my hearth and home with no weapon to speak of. It was not for your son."

"I fear it is not the least of our problems Halbarad, seek not to squander yourself further in my eyes. I am a grown woman, and know what to judge my thoughts upon. But here, I laugh now because of the thought that we have naught to eat, nor naught to drink upon this journey."

Slowly my eyes turned to Gilrean, and unable to hold it, my laughter joined hers, echoing in the hollows between the trees. How foolish we were! So caught up in our grandeur and argument that we failed to realize all that should have been taken care of!

How long we laughed, I cannot say, but when it ended we regarded each other with solemn eyes, knowing full well the gravity of what had befallen us. But in a nature against that of adulthood, we could not seem to find a reason in which to remain solemn for long. Our smiles reappeared and Gilrean in turn came to walk beside me and question me about all that had caused my state and though I resisted, she soon wore me down and the truth came forth. Yet not once did her smile falter, though I could see the storm in her eyes as I spoke of the ill upon me. I knew my drinking could never be fully accepted or forgotten, but at least now she knew the reasoning behind it.

As the long day slowly dwindled down and a chill shook loose the few leaves that still clung to their branches, we were returned to the problem at hand. We were ill prepared to meet what the weather threw against us.

But it seemed we were in the grace of the Valar, and we needed not to have worried, as cold and tired we stumbled upon an abandoned Ranger's cache. Though there was no food for us to eat, there were blankets to warm us and water skins to fill so we may drink. A stack of firewood lay concealed like the discarded branches from the trees, and beneath lay the means in which to start it.

Recognizing the fortune that had smiled upon us, we took our time in thanking the Valar, and ignoring the hunger that gnawed at both of us.

By morning we were on our way again and the journey seemed to stretch before us, vast and intangible, with a heavy pall of doom about. We could feel the winter snapping at our heels, frosting our breaths and driving the warmth from our bones. Gilrean retreated into herself, and spoke naught for the day, the worry for her missing son overwhelming her in giant waves. I tried to keep her hope up, but there was little I could give when I had so little hope myself. When I had left, Estel had been ill trained to live outside the comforts of home, and how little prepared he would be to face what was now against him! My heart bred worry, but yet I felt the festering of hate against Elrond. Had he not banished me, I was sure that never a thing would have happened.

The light of our laughter from the day before seemed to fall upon itself, and left us with little to say.

In such a way the Valar smiled down upon us once more. For as evening fell and the few logs we had taken from our previous camp crackled to life and kept at bay the cold, we were discovered by a party of searchers.

They cried aloud their dismay at seeing Gilrean in my company, for they had not known that she was missing, as their days had been spent upon the trail. To her they gave no good news, saying only that her son had not been found the last they had heard. Their reception to me was less then kindly, and they stood before Gilrean as if to protect her from me. I said nothing, wishing no fight to erupt, but I still felt betrayed, and angrier still at the man who had done this to me.

When morning again showed her pale face, the party took us under their wing, and raced back to Ilmadris, though it was still at least two more nights before we could gain the safety of the warms hearths in the Last Homely House. Their silence to me remained frigid, though to Gilrean they were bright and spoke of jokes not meant for my ears. But she remained silent, clutched in the intuitive knowing of a mother that speaks that her son is in danger.

In a clear crisp dawn, the fifth morning of our journey we came down from the narrow road that led to Ilmadris and there before the gates that were open in welcome, stood the sons of Elrond, waiting patiently for us.

An early winter snow blanketed the earth and caused my breath to rise before me in a white plume, I noticed immediately that the Elves seemed unaffected by it. Unsteadily I dismounted from where I had been riding double, and stiff legged I walked toward the twins. They were standing solemn and quiet, for all the world like a replica of their father.

As I came to them, I fell to my knees in the snow, and held out my hands beseechingly. I could say nothing, for no words would suffice. I was banned from Ilmadris, though I stood before its gate, and the men who stood before me were the sons of the one who had banished me.

"Halbarad! What new game is this that you play with us? The ground is much too cold for your mortal flesh, stand! Stand!"

I knew not which twin had spoken, because in the manner of timbre and tone they were unrecognizable and only by their acts could one tell them apart. Elrohir was quick to welcome and quick to forgive, oft the bearer of the fool's saying, 'act now, think later.' His twin, Elladan, was more reserved, and provided the hand in which kept his brother from the utmost foolishness. It could be said that Elrohir was more like his mother in mood, while Elladan in matters of the thought, the resemblance of his father.

"What is this? You know not what to say to us? Would you look at that dear brother! The noble Halbarad's tongue is silenced."

I stiffened and choked back my surprise as Elladan stepped forward and roughly embraced me. Shocked I could only stand as Elrohir leapt into the embrace as well, crowing mockeries in my ear. I let them pass, for in truth it was his mood at such a time, and I knew that he meant nothing serious by it. It was Elladan though that truly confused me, for I had believed that he would stand at his father's side and rain the misjudgment on my head.

Finally finding my voice, I pounded Elladan and Elrohir upon the back, struggling for freedom. "Halt! Halt! I cannot breathe you Balrogs. Off me!"

Laughing the twins drew back. Their smiles were identical, as were the color of their eyes but for me, they were as different as the night and day, and I had no trouble telling the two apart.

"It is well to see you back," Elrohir said, peering past my shoulder. "And you too Gilrean, we feared the worst for you."

Without turning, I snaked my arm out and pulled Gilrean next to me. I could feel the woman shaking, the toll of the journey wearing upon her. I knew the twins could see it too, and that their bright faces were little more than a trick to fool.

Glancing so quickly at each other that the motion was near lost, the twins nodded. "We have a need to speak with Halbarad, please, assist Gilrean to her house and tend to her as she demands it."

There were no grumblings from the men, as leading their horses, gently nudged Gilrean into their entourage and led her past the gates. I could tell though that they were mystified. They knew not what to make of the greetings of Elrond's sons.

Before long we were left alone, a silence blanketing us, as a few swirls of snow drifted from the sky.

"Now tell me what it is you hide," I demanded irritably then, brushing the snow away. I was shivering, my clothing not meant for a fiercely cold day. "I have been out with you in many a battle; I know your faces when something is wrong."

This time the look the twins sent to each other was longer and full of meaning. When they broke away the burden they had seemed to bear lifted from their shoulders.

"Halbarad there is much to tell, and much rejoicing in the unwitting part that Gilrean has played in all that must happen," Elladan said. "My brother and I must take you someplace."

Sure now that something was wrong, I quickly stepped between the twins and matched my pace with theirs. It was difficult for me, as I was stiff from being upon a horse all night, and from the notable fact that I had done naught but sit since I had left Ilmadris.

"You look like a bear Halbarad," Elrohir said after a moment's pause. "What have you done with yourself?"

I winced and sent the man a glare from the corner of my eye. I chose to change the subject immediately and with all haste. "What is it that you are hiding from me? You say to come, and I come, you say that Gilrean has played some part she was unwittingly involved in, but yet you tell me not why I should be here."

Elladan sighed. "Halbarad you know Estel is missing do you not?"

"It is the reason that Gilrean searched me out. She felt that it was I who could find Estel, or least of all, the only that he would listen to, if someone else were to find him."

"We already found him Halbarad," Estel said softly. His eyes were trained upon the ground.

"What?" I exclaimed, jerking to a halt. I was in half-whirl, intent on returning to Ilmadris to speak to Gilrean about this, when two hands fastened upon my arms and spun me about so I was facing ahead.

"Listen you fool of a man!" Elladan hissed. "You hear not one word of what we need to say and you seek to tell the world? Still your tongue! Listen."

"He is dead then?"

"Fool!"

I winced as both brothers reached up and soundly knocked me over the head. My shoulders hunched up to protect myself .The only relief that I could now feel, was that I had gotten my answer. Estel was not dead.

"He is hiding," Elladan continued after a moment.

We were still walking, now under the deep fringes of the trees, and here the brown earth peered in patches among the white.

"Elladan and I knew immediately where he had gone when we discovered that he was missing," Elrohir took up the story. "It is a place that often when he was in youth we would show him in secret. Father would have been furious, so we took a vow of silence upon ourselves to speak of it with no one."

"We have told no one of our knowledge," Elladan said, eyeing me carefully, as if gauging whether I would try to run or not. "When we came upon him, he was full of the anger that is the domain of the young and foolish. He refused to return with us, and quell the fears of his mother and Elrond. He spoke to us, and told us that if we were to bring you, then he may leave. He says he will speak to no one but you Halbarad, and for long we debated how to bring such a thing about without our Father realizing, and for that we needed to send him upon the search. Yet our minds were too quick, and we fell into the trap of our own making, for we needed to run Rivendell in his absence, and there we knew not how to bring you here. Gilrean solved the problem for us, and for that we thank her."

"Halt your tongue for a moment," I cried stilling my feet. "Why have you not spoken of this to all those searching for him?"

"If we did," Elrohir said patiently. "And he was forced home against his will, what would he do next? We figured it would be best for all, if this was settled in our own manner."

"What do you expect me to say to him?" I demanded. "I know not what he wants to hear, and I know not if I can make him more willing to return."

"You are the only one he is willing to listen to!" Elladan exclaimed. He reached out and grabbed my arm, staring at me pleadingly. "Halbarad please, you have to try. Gilrean can not hold out much longer, her worry consumes her."

I stared between both twins for the longest moment and then defeated I nodded. "Let me see what I can do to fix the trouble that has come upon this harmonious place."

The relief on the twins faces made me feel all the more worried that I would fail, but I could only follow behind them, my tongue stilled.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: The characters of this story belong entirely to Tolkien!

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First Impressions-Chap9-

The white flakes of snow seemed to hang from the sky, hung on invisible strings, only to be danced around at the will of the puppeteer. My hair was damp with it, and shoes soaked through. I had hunched my shoulders, and was now cursing with increased agitation the ill fortune of the weather. Knowing that my comfort was not a paramount concern however, I forced myself to continue onward. In front of me the twins continued on, guiding me through the dense tangle of trees and low-hanging branches.

I had no clue as to where we were, but I knew better then to voice my confusion. From the set of the twins' shoulders, I knew they were in no mood to listen to me, and were no doubt communicating in the silent language of twins, where the barest gesture could have a vast well of meanings.

At long last we passed through a break in the trees and into a small circular space that was dominated at one end by a towering edifice of rock that hovered in the sky, looking like a giant looming over the earth, but thoughtful, and slow to anger. Like a slash across the proud face a waterfall roared down, tumbling into white foam at its base, where then a turbulent stream shot out to wind along the long width of the cliff.

For a long moment I stood gaping silently in wonderment, for I had not heard the splash of the falls until I had stepped into the clearing, and now the pulse pounded in my ears, a never-ending echo.

The twins paused, and then turned to look at me. Gentle smiles spread across their faces, and they seemed to glow faintly with the light of the Blessed Realm. As one they beckoned me closer.

"Estel resides in a small cavern beyond the rush of the falls," Elladan said. His voice seemed suddenly deeper and broader. The lines that had been furrowing his brow faded away and he seemed light and young of age again, with no cares pressing against him. "He will not have heard us. Come."

My feet seemed to trip over each other as I made my way to them. The snow lay like a pristine untouched blanket, and I felt like a trespasser breaking the thin veil.

"Here, the power of Ulmo runs strong," Elrohir said, laughter echoed throughout the length of his face. The gentle aura seemed to pulsate as his eyes danced a joy I had never seen before. "Here is his sanctuary where one may find peace and love and where one may be safe for a time, for he loves both the Children of Eru, and will not abandon them in times of need. You have no need to be frightened to step in such a sacred place."

Though I was no less frightened I nodded, and let the twins place guiding hands upon my shoulders as they pulled be closer to the looming wall of rock and the roaring sound of water.

"I feel like I am creating the greatest most trespass upon this land. I have no right to be here," I whispered, my voice cracking.

"If Ulmo did not wish you to be here, then he would have made his presence known," Elladan assured me.

"It does not make feel any less awed or afraid," I replied. "But how are we to enter this place, for the water runs strong and surely we would be swept far downstream."

Elrohir laughed, the sound of it trilling a perfect harmony against the rush of water. "Fear not Halbarad! Ulmo does not forget that the feet of Men are less balanced upon the Earth. There is a path one may take, but it is hid with cunning skill. Come, follow us, there is naught for you to fear."

For this I had nothing to say. It seemed all that I could mention was swallowed up and insignificant beneath the wonder that was resting in my heart. On both sides of me Elrohir and Elladan continued to faintly glow, their spirit pulsating with a brilliant light.

They took me around the frothing pool of water, where the crash of the waterfall seemed to deafen my ears until I could hear nothing but the sound of thunder, and from there to a blue-stoned path, where the depths of an ocean seemed to beat against a rock barrier. I would have remained, staring at the power before me, had not with a gentle word and remembrance of Estel by Elladan drawn me away.

When we came underneath the canopy of falling water the world seemed shut away and I gasped aloud in wonder at this newest sight. Inside the cave all was silent and the walls seemed to ripple in a constant pattern. I had little time to gaze at my surroundings, for a voice of joy called out to me and bare feet slapping against stone reached my ears.

"Halbarad! You have come! Now perhaps we can talk, and I can return home at long last."

Instantly the matter at hand returned to me, and I snapped from my dazed expression. For a moment I glanced to either side of me, and noticed that while I had been gaping the sons of Elrond had silently disappeared.

Though there was no torch set in a bracket against the wall, there was a glow in the cave and I could see Estel plainly before me. He was bare of foot, his pants a slight bit too short, coming to end just below his knee. The white shirt, now crusted with dirt, hung open on his chest, the laces undone and sagging outward. It was the expression of joy upon his face that I would never forget; his eyes were shining and although his hair was tousled and a scraggly looking beard was touching his chin, he looked like the King he would one day be.

It took just a moment for clarity to reach me, and when it did I realized I was half-bent, offering my allegiance to the unkempt boy in front of me. I did not unbend, even when I cried aloud in horror and amazement.

"Why you little rat! You have been playing us all for fools, have you not?"

A sheepish expression crossed Estel's face banishing for the briefest of moments the look of kingly wisdom. He stepped foot to foot and glanced at the floor, but soon enough he regained his composure, and straightened again, clasping his hands loosely behind his back.

"While it is grievous, and I cannot say that I am proud of my actions, it was the only option I have had left to me. There is a story to tell Halbard, if you have time to sit and speak with me.'

"Why you wish to speak with a drunken man who spent only a week in your service, I do not know, but since you request that I sit, I will Estel, for my legs will not hold me and I feel my years heavily."

"One should not feel years at such a young age as yours," Estel said, his face kind and open. "Sit, rest awhile, though my story is not long. You have not to worry at prying ears, for my brothers understand the need for this time between you and I. They have withdrawn to give us space."

"Do they know what game you played upon them?" I asked, sitting cautiously upon the smooth floor beneath me. Gone seemed the power of Ulmo that resided just outside these walls, I was now filled with a light and love for a King-to-be who stood before me.

Estel shook his head and parted his hair away from his face. "No, I knew it would be best to say naught unto them, for they would have had a grievous war over my choice of thought. There is no blame to them, as they are my brothers and keep my welfare foremost in their minds," he said, and then sat too, drawing his legs close to him in a cross-legged pattern. "My apologies will be lengthy when they hear of my trickery, but I had no choice but to use them."

"You are losing sight of what you wished to tell me," I said gently. "Perhaps you had best start at the beginning of this long tale?"

Estel nodded. "Perhaps it would be best. I suppose there is no real beginning, but if there was one, it would be in the hot summer sun of my first afternoon with you. Here must my apologies begin, for I was testing you that day."

I blinked slowly, and then clasped my hands before me, wondering if I had heard right. "You were testing me?"

A flicker of a smile touched Estel's face. "What you heard about me that day was true, there was no lie in that tale, and I was without a doubt most angry at the abandonment of my brothers, but it was not why I came to you shoeless and stubborn in anger. I have done so with every teacher that I have ever had, in hopes to test their strength, their courage, and the way in which they deal with those that do not wish to listen."

I nodded an attempt to stall my speaking words, for I had no idea how to properly respond to what I had just heard. Yet Estel was staring at my expectantly, and I knew that I had to say something. "Did I pass Estel?"

The answering smile was blinding, and the young boy, though he seemed more of a man, laughed aloud. "Indeed you did pass! And you have been the only one to do so. For that you gained my trust and my pledge of allegiance. I was most impressed, and filled with a boyish excitement when I further learned you wished to take me hunting. I am proud that you stood against Elrond's words, for I know how he looks in fits of anger and how it seems that the wrath of the Valar are against you."

A dry smile twisted my lips, but I said nothing, for I knew that Estel had started and would not finish his tale until the words ran dry on his tongue.

"When he sent you away I was filled with anger, a hatred that I cringe against now. It was consuming and at its root was evil. I see that same anger in you Halbarad, and I wish for you to banish it. That anger belongs only to the servants of Melkor, and you are not one of his men, nor would you stoop so low."

The words were meant to be gentle, a balm to the wound that had slashed its way across my heart, but instead they felt like the stinging lash against an already wounded back. I did not physically flinch from Estel's words, for how could I when the King of Men sat before me and sought not to bury me under my wrongs but instead right them? And how could I, when I knew he was right? Instead my flinch was entirely in my own my thoughts.

"I argued bitterly," Estel continued, speaking only when I had drawn from my inner thoughts. "And all of Ilmadris heard of our fights and the words of anger that were spoken between us. How long this hatred lasted I do not know, but it came to me that it would not end unless I sought a way to make it stop."

"That is why you ran away," I spoke, staring at the floor beneath me. I could not help myself, and though I knew that I should have remained quiet, I knew the ending to this tale, and felt that I had to tell it. "You came here, knowing that your brothers would seek you out, in this place where rests memory of childhood and secrecy. No doubt they were sure that you were in a tantrum of youth. When you spoke to them and told them that if I was brought here then you would return home, they could only think of obeying your order. They feared what you would do if they forced your return."

Estel's head bowed and then lifted. His mouth was set in a grim line. "I trusted them to say nothing, and in their worry not see what I kept hidden. My heart has trembled at what I have done to them and Mother, but I hope in time they will see I had no choice."

"You are a brave man Estel," I said, and had to fight not to betray to him his real heritage. "Proud am I that you are of the Dunedain and that our blood runs strong in you."

"But this tale is not at an end," Estel said. He gained his feet, and paced. His brow was drawn know, deep in the line of thought. "While you are here, and Lord Elrond away, I can take you to Rivendell. My Mother will shelter you under her roof, until such a time where we must make a final stand."

"You make this sound like war!" I cried, also gaining my feet. "Peace Estel! You are much too young to be thinking of drawing blood and wounding. Rather let me return with you, and then we may see what happens, for Elrohir and Elladan are upon my side and Gilrean as well. Lord Elrond will listen to them, and hear their counsel. If they cannot sway him, then there is naught else we can do."

"Your words are wiser then mine," Estel smiled. "Let me get dressed in proper clothing so I may come back to you. I am old enough to admit to you that I miss my mother terribly, and cannot wait to feel her arms around me and the sting of her rebuke against my skin."

I smiled and watched as Estel disappeared for a moment, drawing toward the back of the cave where strangely no light seemed to play along the wall. Resting my hands on my knees, I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

My blood was thrumming and my heart was singing. Though Estel was still much guided by the follies of youth, in him there was a strength and a will to make all that he could right. In that moment I would have followed him blindly into an Orc's den, with no weapon or armor to guard myself, and trusted him to keep me safe. And though there was doubt in my heart, doubt about how everyone would react to Estel's choice and my return, I knew that I could not let it bother me at all.

_One step at a time, do not rush this and do not worry,_ I thought to myself as I heard Estel returning to me.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Wish it was mine, but it isn't…unfortunately.

**A/N**: I am SO sorry everyone! My life has been up in arms for the past little while and I have had little time to write, or even think about it. My sincerest apologies to all my readers, and I thank you for your patience, or even _impatience_ in waiting for this chapter to come up. I hope this makes up for most of it. Also a thanks to my reviewers, Rebell, Rae Simmons, Nelarun, grumpy123 and Kate. Any spelling errors or grammatical errors, I give free permission for EVERYONE to come after me with rotten fruit... or you can do that simply because it took me so long to update.

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First Impressions-Chap10-

It did not take Estel long to gather what he needed. What belongings he had brought with him when he had run away were sparse, and the rest had been provided by his brothers. I could not help but feel that he should have brought more, so as to prolong the need for departure.

Alas, it seemed that the Valar had turned their sunny faces away from me, despite the very fact that we were standing in a place that was of Ulmo and his very essence. I was left alone now, to struggle with only wit and word, and find some way to keep from miring myself worse in Elrond's bad graces.

Estel did not seem so burdened, for there was a smile on his face and a whistle humming in the air as he waited for me to catch up. Before my eyes he seemed to recede becoming less kingly then I had deemed him. It seemed the magic that had moments before been so noticeable had faded, withering until it was once again locked inside him, in some unattainable vault, until such a time it grew until no wall could hold it back.

With a small sigh, I hurriedly stepped beside the eager youth, and passed out from beneath the falls. Something akin to a near physical loss ripped inside me as I passed from the sanctuary back into the open world. Elrohir and Elladan were not present here either, but I felt them, the brief rise of the hairs on the back of my neck, and the general _know_ of when someone you are close to is near. I was sure Estel had noticed it as well, but he gave no indication of it, instead turning to me and urging me to hurry.

He had missed Ilmadris more then he was letting onto. I kept my peace however, and with growing trepidation I sloshed after him.

The snow had stopped falling sometime while we were inside and a warm southerly breeze was heating the air, and turning what was once white into colorless water. It would not last long though, for I knew, as it was the same year in and out, that the snow would return with a vengeance, and soon, all that one would be able to see would be the white and treacherous pitfalls and icy traps that came with it. I was not fond of snow, which seems odd for a man of the North to say, but nonetheless it was true.

There was no speech between Estel and I as we ducked under the cover of the trees and headed back toward Ilmadris at an easy pace. Here the snow was less, and I found myself able to walk as a man should walk. Upright, stable and with confidence. A glance from the corner of my eye assured me, with a twinge of envy, that Estel had had no troubles walking in either terrain. The joys of youth, I thought humorlessly, knowing I was little older then Estel and had yet many years ahead of me.

"Halbarad?"

Not startled, for I had felt the shift in the air between us, and knew that Estel was struggling for words to say. I tilted my eyes toward him, but gave no response feeling that rather it was best I remain silent.

"I have a…confession," Estel admitted. His hands clasped behind his back and he was staring blankly at the trees. "I have a mind to say it before my brothers appear, though I know what horrible eavesdroppers they are."

A subtle hint, I found myself smirking, knowing the twins would be irked to realize they were not as stealthy as they deemed themselves. Again, I said naught, knowing again that it was wise to remain silent.

Estel cleared his throat, and shot me the briefest of glances before returning to his study of the distant trees. "While all I said to you in the sanctuary was true, I am afraid there was a slight omission upon my part."

I made a noncommittal sound, and stepped lightly over a fallen log. I had a moment to wait as Estel managed to tangle himself in the branches, and could not get loose. I pretended to ignore his profanities and other unpleasant sayings that passed his lips, though I wondered where he had learned all of them, for I was sure I caught a few that were not in Common, nor in the liquid and harmonic speech of the Elves. Perhaps, it was best not to know.

When Estel had finally righted himself, and parted an indignant kick at the tree as a parting gift, we continued on, at a slightly faster pace. I only noticed as Estel's face began to glow, and knew it was a sign we were nearing the borders of Ilmadris.

"Your confession?" I prompted, realizing that he had forgotten what he meant to say.

"My confession?" Estel asked, his face momentarily confused. He coughed and then brightened with an abashed look upon his face. "Ah, that confession. Yes, I suppose it is only fair that I say it. The night you came and met with my Mother, well…" he paused a moment as if the words would not come right. After a moment he started again, his face red. "When she caught me trying to escape from my window, it was no test, I was honestly trying to flee."

"I thought I had gained your respect?" I questioned, for now I was the one confused.

Estel coughed again and would have fidgeted had we not been walking. "What I said was true, and I would not lie on something with so much importance placed upon it. It is true that you had gained my respect, but it did not mean that I _liked_ you because of it. At that point in my life, I rather did _hate _you. I am sure that Elrond had spoken to you about my dislike for running?"

"I believe he mentioned it in passing," I said, frowning, no more enlightened then I had been a moment ago.

Seeing my look Estel burst into laughter. "I see I am not making sense! Let me try this again shall I? I have no use for running, for I find it a useless waste of one's time. I would rather be walking and enjoying what is around me, then letting pass in a blur, though granted in the training area there is not much to see. As a result of my previous opinions upon running, I was rather annoyed when you had me run and while your respect was present my like for you had not quite reached the same point. It was your suggestion of taking me hunting that allowed the two to even out, and only then I realized that perhaps I could stand you."

"Just perhaps?" I grunted, pretending to be offended. I had finally caught up to him, and was desperately trying not to laugh. Such a backward boy! Well not so much a boy, but rather a young man. I did not attempt to follow his logic much more, knowing that I would be completely entangled in its twisted passages. I decided to leave the deep thinking to him, and let the simplicity for thought take up residence rather in my mind.

"At this point I must convey my apologies for my rashness."

I shook my head. "I would have done the same thing," I admitted, then added in a conspiratorial tone. "Count your blessings Estel, for such a kind mother; I would have received a more dire punishment. My mother was known to fondly carry a wooden spoon about with her."

Estel's eyes widened, then he eyed me up and down, before folding upon himself into a convulsion of laughter. It was not hard for me to see that he did not believe that I could have once been mischievous, prone to unkindly tricks and annoyance. I allowed myself a smile.

"My apologies for ruining your enjoyment on this fine, if rather dreary day…"

"That makes no sense Elrohir," Estel reprimanded him, knowing instantly which twin had spoken though I could not tell. "A day cannot be fine and dreary at once, such a thing cannot exist."

"Remind me next time dear brother that when Estel decides to visit Erestor that I am to kidnap him and let him nowhere near that man?"

I chuckled, deciding not to put my opinion in, though it was the same as Estel's. If I did, I knew that the contrasting words would be argued until we ran into Gilrean's door with our noses. I would not have been surprised if even then we did not cease to debate.

Almost instantly I realized the error of my thoughts and had to take a steadying breath and remind myself that I was not all in the clear yet. There were still many things that had to be overcome before I was accepted fully back into Ilmadris.

I realized my thoughts had taken me done some alternate path, as I blinked when a hand flashed before my eyes. "I am here!" I exclaimed

"Apparently not," Elladan said dryly, he was walking now on my right, though when he had appeared I could not be certain. I only knew it to be Elladan as I had noticed earlier that his clothing was darker in color then Elrohir's. "I was saying unto my little brother that he may not have a chance to defend you, I am certain his mother will not be letting him out of sight for some time. Imagine her frustration at knowing he had run away _on purpose_."

Apparently I had been wandering in my thoughts longer then I had realized. Whatever the time had been, it had been time enough for Elladan and Elrohir to torture the truth from Estel's unwilling lips. Neither looked happy, even Elrohir who was quick to understand and forgive.

"I extend my apologies yet again," Estel pleaded. "I was only trying to do my best to right this mess that we have been landed in."

Elladan's eyes narrowed. "You could have come to us for aid instead of playing us like we were naught but toys Estel."

"You would have not come to my aid," Estel said, his tone accusatory. "Do not say to me that I come first in your lives above that of Elrond. You would listen to him first and then listen with judgmental ears when I have to say only afterwards."

It seemed that neither twin had an answer to this, for they fell silent, their lips twisted into silent identical grimaces. He was right though, both of us knew. Elladan and Elrohir valued their Father's words, and while they would listen to the opinion of others, it was always with their Father whispering in the background.

Estel had been wiser then I had originally realized. Sighing, I dragged a hand through my hair, shaking my head from side to side.

A flash of light caught my attention and I shifted my focus. It took a moment longer before I realized that it was the break of the trees, and the hum that I begun to hear was that of the waterfalls that never ceased their cries, even when snow and ice fell thick across the valley. From the corner of my eye I saw Estel's flash of joy and how he had to restrain himself from running toward the light, and ultimately toward home. For a moment, I thought I saw also Elladan and Elrohir let go of their frustration and relax, at peace.

Ilmadris was strangely silent, as if in the time that I had been absent, the people had vanished and nothing remained but the walls and homes to remain vigilant and neglected. The silence unnerved me, for I remembered the Elven city as a place of light, love, joy, solitude and peace all at once. A place where one could do anything they wished, for there was space here for one to do it.

Estel's face seemed abashed in the unnatural quiet, and his eyes followed to his brothers as if looking for the answer.

"Your plan," Elladan said, his voice hard, "was more erred then you gave time to realize. Half the city is looking for you while the other consoles your mother in ways she does not want! And when she disappeared, there was even more chaos then before. No doubt when this is all over, there will be severe consequences for your foolish actions."

"Enough!" I snapped. I rounded on Elladan, fisting my hands over the collar of his shirt. I was aware of the shocked look in his eye, then the narrow calculation as he prepared to listen with the full knowledge that he was stronger then me and that any time he could brush me aside.

"If you would get your head out from your behind, maybe you could listen for but one second?"

Elladan's eyes widened again and I heard Estel snort as if barely containing a bout of laughter. Of Elrohir, I heard not one sound. I waited a moment, and when I heard no protest, I shoved Elladan back.

"Do you realize the sacrifice Estel had to make? Do you two even realize how hard it was for him, not to mention brave? I will not speak for him, for he has his own tongue, and can no doubt tell you later all the doubts that crossed his mind. If you two were not so selfish, proclaiming love you do not feel then you no doubt you would be more supportive, and more understanding. I see now that it is not possible for you to love, and I make this decision not on anger but in observation, so thank you, Estel and I know the way to his house, you two can return to your studies and plot more on your selfish desires."

Fuming, I spun on heel, reached out, snagged the cloth of Estel's shirt and began dragging him along. When he did not squawk in protest, I knew he was stunned. I knew that I would have been stunned myself, had I not been so furious.

_How dare they! How dare they presume to know what they do not? I a miserable drunk, who was prepared to leave the hollowed remains of a shelter I had built in order to come back to uncertainty. Are they so afraid of rejection they can not listen and realize how proud they should be of a future King that does not know of his linage?_

"Halbarad?"

With a vicious yank, I pulled myself from my daydreams, and glanced at Estel. I realized I had released him, and now he was following dutifully beside me. I did not glance behind me to see what the twins were doing, I felt nothing toward them.

"Yes?" I replied, after a moment in which I regained my grip on my control.

"Thank you."

Estel's words were so soft that I barely heard them. Surprised, I jerked my head back and glanced down beside me. "For what?"

"For speaking as you did, I have never heard anyone who has ever spoken to my brothers in such a way. I think it does them well, and will give them something to think about." Estel's face lost its seriousness and he snorted, nearly collapsing into laughter. "And the look upon Elladan's face! Oh, such a priceless moment, I do not think I have heart to forget it, nor let him forget."

I opened my mouth to respond, but it was drowned beneath a sudden excited shout.

"Estel! _Estel! _My baby!"

I turned my head just in time to see Gilrean collide with her son, wrapping him fiercely in her arms, ignoring his half-hearted protests to be let go.

Over her Estel's shoulder, Gilrean lifted her head, eyes shining with gratitude. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you Halbarad! Elrond has no right to ever be so hard upon you when you have brought my Estel back."

"Mom…can't breathe," Estel choked, lightly patting his mother's back.

Gilrean seemed not to notice, as she reached out and suddenly I found myself squished beside Estel and unable to breathe.

I only hoped that the woman would release me before I died of suffocation, though I was immensely glad to see the light in her eyes and the tears of joy upon her face. Estel was everything to her and I had brought him home. I could only hope she would be as responsive when she learned why he had left in the first place.


End file.
